Disclaimer: This is the first of what are sure to be many posts about Colin Farrell. I fully realize that if you are a girl with a shred of self-esteem, you probably find him disgusting. I, however, am not that girl. I adore Colin Farrell...well, I adore Colin Farrell the Movie Star. I fear that Colin Farrell the Actual Person would prove to be too smelly and loud for my taste. But as long as he stays distantly on the screen, tattooed, cursing and occasionally kissing Jared Leto, everything will be fine. Not that this little obsession hasn't caused me pain: I own a copy of The Recruit, for the love of God, but just let it be said that I accept -- nay, I celebrate -- every aspect of his drunken, oversexed Irishness. Actually, I think it's an integral part of his charm.
So, Colin Farrell made a sex tape with a Playboy Playmate. No part of that statement is surprising. In fact, it's actually kind of redundant. Here's the thing, though: Colin's suing to keep the tape from being made public. He claims he and the aforementioned Playmate, Nicole Narain, (why are they always named Nicole?), had an agreement to keep the tape under wraps. Now, either this is a fairly transparent p.r. move to make him look like he has some dignity left, or he's a damn idiot. I mean, she's a Playboy Playmate. She takes her clothes off for money. It's her job. She doesn't also work at Burger King, Colin, she's a professional naked person.
Now, personally, I don't get the whole sex tape thing, but much like other completely individual decisions Rick Santorum doesn't think you should make for yourself, I will support and defend your right to get freaky on film with enthusiasm and, if necessary, a letter-writing campaign to Congress.
I also believe that Celebrities are People Too, and that they have the right to take out the garbage and engage in carnal gymnastics on camera if they so choose without the prying eyes of the world looking in on them. But you've got to be realistic. People are going to want to see it. I mean, you made the thing because you wanted to see it, right? So stop whining, collect the proceeds and get on with your charmed life.
Well, I guess that's it. In case you were wondering, I have no desire to see this tape. I'm not that kind of girl. That's why Colin keeps coming back to me -- I keep him grounded.