Thursday, August 18, 2005

Dictionary a la Nina

SCHADENFREUDE
1. Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.
2. This.

UNNECESSARY
1. Not necessary; needless.
2. The fact that, as reported by The Superficial , Jessica Simpson is both endorsing a line of treadmills and manufacturing plus-size jeans. Leave my fat ass alone, Jess, it never did anything to you. Whereas you have annoyed me to no end. Trollop.

EXHAUSTION
1. The act or an instance of exhausting. The state of being exhausted; extreme fatigue.
2. What celebrities say they are suffering from when, in fact, they are entering detox. It's actually one of those things that I love about Hollywood. It's so cryptic and obvious at the same time. What a beautiful euphemism! So much better than saying "Mr. Inem has been up for 3 weeks straight on a meth-and-hooker binge and desperately needs some sleep and IV fluids."

BREAKING POINT
1. The point at which physical, mental, or emotional strength gives way under stress.
2. Where I find myself after learning that Sean Combs is now referring to himself as simply "Diddy," rather than "P. Diddy," because, and I quote, "I felt like the 'P' was getting between me and my fans and now we're closer." Well, I certainly feel closer to him now, don't you? Could someone please explain the appeal of this man to me? If you have definitive proof that he isn't just some overrated, self-aggrandizing moron, I'd be interested in it. I get that he's a savvy businessman and throws kick-ass parties in the Hamptons where you can only wear white, (because the rich need boundaries when they go out), but honestly, has he ever created anything that wasn't blatantly derivative? No? I didn't think so.

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