Sunday, January 15, 2006

Theoretically, I'm screwed

I think my lifetime of academic bullshitting may be catching up with me.

First of all, I realize that I never updated my school plan since the first post I wrote about it, so just to let you know, (and I think most of you already do), I ultimately decided to remain at work part-time and attend school part-time. Which leaves me with three classes; two are English classes, (my major), and the third is Music Theory, which actually satisfies the math-like "Formal Reasoning and Analysis" requirement I must meet in order to get a degree.

I chose Music Theory because I suck at math like no one has ever sucked at math in the history of math-sucking time. The other choices for "Formal Reasoning and Analysis" were, essentially, Calculus and Statistics, and they weren't really an option. Thus, after some informal reasoning and analysis of my own (hardy har har) I concluded that, based on the fact that I sing along to the radio while driving, I was totally qualified to breeze through Music Theory.

Well, I've been to two classes so far, and read the first chapter of the textbook, and, um...I'm going to die.

There is a damn good reason this class satisfies the math-y requirement. Actually, it should also satisfy the Foreign Language and Rocket Science requirements, since when I look at the page, it appears to be written in Hukkabrip-9, which, as we all know, is the dialect of southwestern Pluto. (And yes, Penn does have a Rocket Science requirement. They're very committed to the idea of a well-rounded education).

Anyway, I have decided that if I can get a C in this class, it will be a hard-won victory, (and I'm not the kind of nerd usually satisfied with a C). But it just makes me realize how much I've fudged in my life so far.

See, at various points throughout my childhood and early adolescence, I took lessons in the following instruments: Piano, clarinet (shut up), guitar and voice. And yet, I have no idea how to read music. None. I never bothered to learn. I just hobbled along over the years, never committed to the idea of learning to play music as much as I was committed to the idea of one day being a rock star. Seems like neither angle really panned out, and now here I am, sweating through Music Theory.

There are plenty of other things I never bothered to learn, either, and they haven't really been a problem. For instance, I honestly don't know my multiplication tables, but when do I not have a calculator? I mean, there's even one in my cell phone. Also, I don't really know too much about proper grammar and punctuation -- I've always just fallen back on my writing ability to pull me through. The sad thing is, these methods work. It's a Spell Check world, my friends, and I am purfektly happee to live in it.

So, as for Music Theory, I still say it's better than Calculus. I'll just have to study my ass off, complain a lot and never forget that Paul McCartney can't read music, either, so that rock star thing might just work out after all.


Anonymous said...

Oh girl. Suddenly all those hours spent practicing intervals in my melodia book and appreciating the hard 3 that is "Ba Ba Black Sheep" is making sense and yet, I am not in this class with you. I would offer some assistance, but I am SO HORRIFICALLY poor at math it is astounding (you would qualify as that guy in Quantum Leap compared to moii).
SO, suffice it to say, my Granny can't read music either and she kicks ass.

Hillary said...

Ok, that anon comment better not be from my sister who does statistical analysis for her f'n JOB. But I think it must be because who else do you know with a granny like that?!

Anonymous said...

Statistical analysis = smart gambling, not math my friend.