- You can eat a big bowl of ice cream while watching Judge Judy, (admittedly this seems like something a loser might do, but it's not).
- You can take a walk around the neighborhood, pausing to giggle at the children, pet the puppies and literally smell the flowers, (which the puppies have probably just peed on, but go with it).
- If you have the right kind of mom, you can call her and listen while she rattles off the reasons why you are not, in fact, a loser, (these may or may not include Magnificent Hair and Good Taste in Movies).
- You can compare yourself to someone who is -- objectively, inarguably, empirically proven to be -- a loooooooooooooooser.
With that in mind, please join me in bolstering my self-esteem and validating the choices I've made in life by watching this video of Kevin Federline rocking out to his new single, PopoZao, (which is, I believe, Portuguese for "compared to me, you're a genius with clearly defined goals and intrinsic value as a human being.")
And yes, Kevin Federline is putting out an album. And no, that is not unfair. If we didn't get to make fun of him it would be unfair, but there are cameras with film in them, so there is justice after all.
Now watch the video already.