NINA'S OFFICIAL GUIDE TO TAKING THE FINAL FOR "ALEXANDER AND HIS AGE" (copyrite and so forth)

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Step One

To be completed from 9pm the night before the exam until approximately 14 seconds before the exam itself.

Learn everything there is to know about Hellenistic history. Pay
particular attention to themes the professor has labeled his "own
argument." Write these things down on 3 X 5 notecards. Use different
colored pens. Do not review the notecards except to remark to yourself
that you are good at arts n' crafts.

Step Two

To be completed at the predetermined time as scheduled by your college, university or cosmetology academy.

Take exam. Employ well-honed ability to bullshit. Make mention of those things which are the professor's "own argument," (they love that shit). On essay, repeat self, uh, repeatedly. Sigh. A lot. Hand exam in and tell professor that you really, thoroughly, more than anything else you've ever paid to learn, enjoyed his class. Smile as sincerely as possible.

Step Three

To be completed immediately following termination of exam.

Forget everything there is to know about Hellenistic history...I mean, Helenwho?