Monday, November 28, 2005

Of Turkey, Windex and Hottie Potter

Happy post-Thanksgiving, people! I must say that I am thankful for you fine people, as you generously stroke my ego and tell me to post more often, which I shall attempt to do. But I'm warning you -- they can't all be gold ;)

Here's the three-step holiday wrap up:

1. Cook Thanksgiving dinner with Mother. Agree with Mother that the addition of four more people at dinner this year necessitates the preparation of four times more food, (ah, math). Food breakdown = 2 types of meat the combination of which roughly equals the weight of the dog, 2 types of potato, 4 types of vegetable, assorted bread products including stuffing, 2 varieties of cranberry sauce, EIGHT FREAKING DESSERTS, unlimited quantities of Maalox. Re-confirm source of personal obesity.

2. Assist Mother with OCD holiday cleanup. Realize that the air doesn't smell quite right until it's tinged with Pine Sol. Stop cleaning occasionally to make a turkey-and-carrot-cake sandwich. Really.

3a. Go see the new Harry Potter with Emily and Chris, one or both of whom you have seen each HP movie with so far. Fully expect that seeing a kids movie on Black Friday will be a full-fledged nightmare. Become pleasantly surprised at both the relative silence of the theater, (not counting Emily), and the disturbing increased hotness of the underage star of the movie. Although, to be fair to your non-pedophile self, realize that the director filmed the manchild in a bathtub for a reason, and at this rate we'll be seeing his wand by the end of the series. Be totally enchanted (yeah, I said it) by the movie in general, declare it the best of the HPs so far, and resolve to kick the ass of anyone who disagrees.

3b. Also, for a radical change of pace, go see Good Night and Good Luck on Saturday night with Father. Observe that old people talk waaaaaaay more than kids do in the theater. Especially when the movie is about actual events that happened in their lifetimes. For instance (spoiler alert), Movie Character expresses sadness; Father Time, who is sitting two seats down from me, says to his wife in a stage whisper "I THINK HE KILLS HIMSELF"; then, when Movie Character does indeed commit suicide, Father Time triumphantly exclaims, "SEE, I TOLD YOU!" But in all seriousness, a very good movie which makes a very good point about the the potential for the media to call politicians on their nation-damaging bullshit. And the fact that in the 50's, even babies smoked.

So now I am back at work on this Monday, and still feeling the gastro-hangover. Honestly, if I never eat stuffing again...who the hell am I kidding? I love stuffing. And turkey. And mashed potatoes. And carrot cake. And Maalox. Definitely Maalox. Deliciously creamy Maalox.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What am I thankful for? Nina!! That's who! And, I drool for you, o' teenage Potter. Thank you for rationalizing my sick obsession; he DID show the bathtub scene for a reason!
Solid gold.