So, just when I was wallowing in disappointment over the fact that everyone's favorite Epitome of a Downward Spiral, Britney S. Federline, had gone and named her baby something normal, (Preston, in case you've been living under a rock, or, alternately, just don't give a shit about the "news"), there appears to be some confusion about what, exactly, the little rehabber-of-the-future's name actually is.
Although none of the suspected names being thrown around are too exciting, (Sean, Michael, Christian -- what would the Kabbalists say?!), it still opens up the possibility that she did, in fact, hear my cries and name the little sucker something so fabulously awful and celebritastic as to sustain me for at least another day.
Here is what I pray to the God of My Choice for:
- Peanut Joseph (Spears Federline)
- Durwood Monkeybar (Spears Federline)
- Marlboro (Spears Federline)
- Marlboro Ultra (Spears Federline)
- The Spirit of Love (Spears Federline)
- Larry (Spears Federline)
Or, maybe it's really a girl and they went with Britney Junior.
But what I really hope for is that she followed the example of her parents, (who are named Jamie and Lynn and named their younger daughter Jamie-Lynn [can you hear the banjo?]), and named the wee one Kritney.
Oh please Oh please Oh please.